Our Hope Beyond

 

The old woman gave me smile, a sad smile through her tears, as she reached over to hug my shoulder. She had been looking for a diagnosis for months, a way to understand what was going on in her body. Even though my news was a new weight, it was also a relief from the burden of not knowing. As we sat and prayed together, I could feel her faith through the grip of her fingers and the moving of the Spirit. She knew where she was headed if God chose not to heal her. 

As a doctor, I frequently see people on some of the worst days of their lives: a new diagnosis of a chronic disease like heart failure, the discovery of metastatic cancer, a serious injury or case of meningitis in a child. With all the advances in medicine, a new diagnosis often leads to overwhelming information on different treatment options available and their potential success rates. Resource limitation here in PNG often force me to draw closer to the patient and see where they are at emotionally and spiritually as our ability to treat medically may be very limited or nonexistent. This can be discouraging, seeing the vast disparity between the care someone in the US would be able to access versus what is available to the people that live right next to me in the villages and mountains around the hospital. However, people are more than their physical bodies. In the resource wealth of the West, it easy to neglect our souls and spirits in search of a physical cure.

Lester* taught me a lot about this. He had been in and out of the hospital several times due to worsening liver cirrhosis with hepatic encephalopathy. When I saw him on this admission, I knew that it would likely be his last. His skin was jaundiced (yellow) and he was wasting away, even as his abdomen swelled larger and larger. And yet, his smile every morning was radiant. He always greeted me when I walked in and tried to keep up his spirits despite his worsening condition. The reason for his peace and joy was that Lester knew Jesus. Lester felt His presence despite the misery. And you could see the effect this had on his family. While they were concerned for him, they weren’t anxious.

 One day Lester didn’t greet me on rounds. He had slipped into unconsciousness. His kidneys had been gradually worsening over several days and were finally failing along with his liver. The next day his bed was empty. It was tragic to lose him, especially as he was so young and full of love, but I know that I will see him again one day.

Someone else I will see is Esther*. Like so many women here, she suffers the ill effects of a broken health care system. She was dying from advanced cervical cancer, and she was young. As I broke the news to her, her face was placid, but I could see the tumble of emotions and thoughts behind her eyes. I tried to be present with her as she processed what was next. And then I couldn’t help but share God’s love with her, His overwhelming passion for her. She hadn’t known God before, but she prayed with me in the dark ultrasound room.

I pray that my patients might know the peace and joy from knowing God. I also pray and strive for a better health care system here that will decrease preventable deaths. I yearn for the young women and men who attempt to end their lives to know their dignity, worth and the love of God, and I try to show this to them in the hospital. I also yearn for a decrease in domestic violence and an increased power and voice for women in PNG.

Please continue praying for me here that I might be able to help show God’s light and to work for positive change alongside my PNG colleagues.

*Names changed

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Life updates

Stella continues to grow. Everyone comments on how big she is getting. She is a good companion who helps keep me grounded after long workdays. Unfortunately, my garden has been a little neglected since she arrived, although after work today I did pick some corn, lettuce, spinach, cherry tomatoes, strawberries, and butternut squash. I recently had a weekend trip up to a cave in the mountains complete with sleeping in a tent for the first time here. I enjoyed getting to explore again. I have been facilitating a men’s group, which has helped me to get to know some of my fellow missionaries better. It has been rewarding thus far. A couple weeks ago, I hosted Apa and his family (my initial host family for my cultural orientation) for lunch. His kids have grown so much, it was good to see all of them again.

 

 

Clinic has been getting busier and busier as unrest from elections has begun to go down. We recently said goodbye to our only Pediatrician, Dr Susan. We miss her, but it was also neat to see the community respond to her 21 years of service here as she prepared to leave. I am attempting to learn some Pediatric echocardiography to make up one of the many gaps left by her departure. 

In a couple weeks I will be flying to Dubai for a conference with Samaritan’s Purse along with my colleagues from Nepal and Africa. I am looking forward to learning from them and sharing encouragement. It will also be nice to have some time and space to reflect on the last 21 months here, to process the difficult things and to grow more into the person God desires me to be.